Cigars in the Sand

Commentary, Notes and Pictures from my time in Iraq

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Location: Baghdad, Iraq

Farmer by genetics, Lawyer by training, currently "vacationing" in Iraq and advising the Iraqi government on border security issues. Before moving to Baghdad, I served in the White House as Deputy Counsel for the Homeland Security Council. I can be reached at opusxryanathotmaildotcom.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Vegas, Baby

One month from today I will hit the ground in Las Vegas as part of my overdue vacation. Some of my friends put together an amusing Top Ten List:

Top Ten Things Likely Overheard Sitting Next to Ryan in a Bar on His Upcoming Trip to Vegas

10. Small World. The taxi driver that picked me up at the airport in Vegas is the brother of the guy that drove me to the airport in Baghdad.

9. [censored]

8. This casino's pretty nice, but it's nothing compared to the side operation I'm running out of the basement of the Adnan Palace. Those soldiers just love giving me their money, and I won my "fiancé" in a craps game.

7. If you go upstairs, don't use the bathroom. I think somebody dropped a chemical WMD in there.

6. So I said to the pit boss, "What do you mean I can't bet with these Sadaam dinars? I'm telling you, I want to put these two suitcases on black!"

5. Sorry, it's been a while since I danced with a woman, and I usually have to let the Major lead.

4. I wanted to put a bet on the new Iraqi President actually making it to the inauguration, but I'm not too thrilled with the casino's over/under.

3. [censored]

2. Am I going back? Oh, sure, I'm headed back on Monday. Ha ha ha ha ha (maniacally).

1. Yeah, that smell is me. I got so used to going three days without a shower, I just figured . . . ---- Hey baby, where you going? Don't LEAVE!